can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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