Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
