So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
