Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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