Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
