3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
