The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
smell my finger.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
