are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
