pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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