you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize