She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Never joke about your clitoris.
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