you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
