i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize