then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
