You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
