he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have fence marks all over my body
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
