just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
