Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I hate all girls vehemently.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
