I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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