sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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