I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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