Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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