I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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