I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is there bacon in the couch?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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