so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
