I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize