I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
