who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
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I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Since when is my clitoris pierced?