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• (407): View more from Florida

  If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  probs a good idea

  (207): View more from Maine

  i like the whole idea of life and being alive

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  you sure you're not high?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.

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• (212): View more from New York

  Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.

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