Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.

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(773): View more from Illinois

She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.

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(239): View more from Florida

Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(774): View more from Massachusetts

After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.

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(503): View more from Oregon

We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.

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(303): View more from Colorado

My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina

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