Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
