Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

who do you think you are?

(407): View more from Florida

someone who doesn't ask that question

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(410): View more from Maryland

I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore

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(318): View more from Louisiana

Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.

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(636): View more from Missouri

hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.

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(514): View more from Quebec

I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Since when is my clitoris pierced?

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