Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
