Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
