His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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