I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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