He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
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I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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