just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Randomize
