The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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