My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
