I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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