the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
