If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize