Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize