wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
My balls are so social today.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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