Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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