put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
