Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize