Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
