The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
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This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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