Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
