i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
tell me about the eggs
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
