I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
