So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
