Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
