xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
