I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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