just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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