dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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